The challenge topic that I chose for day 6 was the other and the unfamiliar. In my family and just in general, I have observed and realised that many men are selfish. I am not someone who would like to be seen in this way because it is a negative aspect to have. Well I see it as a negative aspect. I am brutally honest and people often mistake that for being selfish due to some things coming across as rude, but I am not selfish.
On Know Myself, M. Radwan talks about the reasons which cause people to be selfish. One of these reasons is that the people are afraid of losing control of their lives. This, I realised, is one of the reasons why my cousin is selfish. He doesn’t have complete control with his career and wanted to be somewhere else. Being selfish is his way of taking control of something.
During the day I did things which I would not usually do. This included walking through a doorway first, when someone was clearly supposed to be before me, and doing whatever I wanted to do no matter how disrespectful. I wore a sign which said “ME FIRST”, but not everyone understood it, which made the reactions more realistic than if I clearly said “I am being selfish today”.
For my first lecture, I stayed on my phone and did not take part in anything properly because I didn’t feel like doing those activities. Then, at another point in the lecture, the lecturer said: “If you want to take part and listen in the lecture that’s good. If not then you can leave.” Since I did not particularly want to be in the lecture at that moment, I left. This was out of character for me because I would not usually be so disrespectful.
For the next lecture I spoke mostly about myself and only wanted people to help with my work, when I wouldn’t help them with theirs.
As for the way I felt when I was being selfish, it was not a positive feeling. I became angry over unnecessary things because I wanted them to be done my way, or I wanted to do something else and was not always able to. When I tried, the conflict which was caused with others, such as someone walking through a door and getting upset when I pushed through first, made me feel angry too because they got upset with me.
Now that I am back to myself I am going to have to explain to people why I was acting the way I was, and apologise if I offended them. The day was fun while it lasted but I wouldn’t do it again because it ultimately put me in a bad mood. I am glad to be back to the way I usually am.